Anger settles quietly
sifted like flour though
careful pleasantries,
kitchen-counter talk and hidden need.
We thought we were
compatible, or so
we were told,
and now we are too simple
to know the means to an end.
I miss what I can’t say
and you bite your tongue,
kissing my head like a judas,
releasing me to small mortality:
that finishing school for optimists.
And rage is a smirking sated beast
that I long to reduce to shadows.
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139,425 Literary Works • 672,560 Reviews
Hi there!
There was something so... smooth about you're poem. It was very fluent; easy to read. You have some good metaphors and the way you've written this is very captivating.
Although, there were a few things I'd take a look at:
Descriptions wise, it feels a little bland. perhaps there is a way to brighten up the imagery a little bit?
Making it long. Short poems can be effective, but I think I'd like this a lot more if it were longer.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The content was relatable and to the point.
Thanks for the read, and happy writing
-Briggsy
Very well writen poem. I sort of get it but I feel as if your imagery is not so creative. You need to make it like I was there and I could smell, feel, hear and see everything in this poem. It seemed like it jumped around but still a very well writen poem just needs a little editing and you got an awesome poem.
Keep up the writing!